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‘A Virus Walks Into a Bar…’ and Other Science Jokes – Brian Malow

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Science comedian Brian Malow jokes that a virus is “the ultimate David and Goliath” when compared with humans. He then rattles off a series of science-related jokes. “Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar, and doesn’t.”


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Now an accomplished stand-up comic whose career has spanned more than a decade to include performances on CBS, A&E, TechTV, and the Discovery Channel, Brian Malow turns his sharp wit upon his first love: the world of science.

Brian entertains and ignites interest in science with hysterical, thought-provoking science comedy routines about the environment, insects and viruses, evolution and extinction, the speed of light, gravity, cell phones, computers — everything under the Sun — and even the Sun itself!

Brian makes science funny, exciting and easily digestible for all audiences.

Wonderfest, the Bay Area Festival of Science, is held each year in the beginning of November. Enjoy fascinating discussions between world-class scientists on cutting edge topics, as well as other fun exhibitions. Visit and join.


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46 thoughts on “‘A Virus Walks Into a Bar…’ and Other Science Jokes – Brian Malow

  1. I didn't get bacteria one
    how many meanings does the word 'stuff' have ?

  2. A yeast walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Gimme a beer."  The bartender hands him a bowl of cereal and says, "Eat this and let it sit for a while."

    A noble gas walks into a bar.  The bartender asks him, "Aren't you a little too… noble for a place like this?"  The noble gas doesn't react.

    A spectrophotometer walks into a bar and asks for a beer.  When he receives his beer, he exclaims to the bartender, "I can't drink this!  It doesn't follow the beer's law!"

    A group of DNA molecules walk into a bar.  When asked what they would like to drink, they reply in unison, "A shot of Everclear for each of us!"  The bartender rolls his eyes and says, "With that much alcohol, you'll just precipitate out."

    And my worst one of all:
    Avogadro's number walks into a bar.  The bartender exclaims "Holy moley!"

  3. A mosquito was heard to complain
    That chemists had poisoned her brain.
    The cause of her sorrow
    Was para-dichloro-

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